Nowadays we enjoy full legal equality with heterosexuals, and fewer of us are in the closet. We have so-called "national treasures" who are lesbian and gay, and we can even be represented in a Tory party cabinet.However, as I gathered survey responses (one aimed at lesbians and gay men, another at heterosexuals), interviewed key players, and observed meetings, demonstrations and events, I realised that some things had evolved in unexpected ways.As lesbians and gay men become more "respectable" and "normalised", with marriage, children and mortgages, many moderate religious conservatives now support rather than condemn us. At a debate in Belfast on equal (gay) marriage last year, for example, where I was billed as giving the feminist critique against all marriage, my opponents were those who, five years ago, would have crossed the street to avoid gay folk.To paraphrase the arguments of my opponents, who were firmly on the side of marriage being extended to same-sex couples, now that we were able to emulate the heterosexual family unit, we were viewed as being less dangerous and subversive.The gay and straight survey results show that both groups are overwhelmingly in support of equality, with 88.7% and 85.8% respectively agreeing that they support the legislation. The bigots we often heard during the early debates in parliament and elsewhere on gay marriage are few and far between these days, it would seem. Or are they?Perhaps if I had asked the heterosexual respondents whether they would mind if a son, daughter or sibling turned out to be gay, though, I might have uncovered some disquiet.The survey data also suggests that there is far more anti-gay bigotry around than we are led to believe in the face of such widespread support for equal marriage. When I asked, "Have you ever experienced anti-lesbian/gay prejudice?", a shocking 78.1% said yes, which included 26.8% describing physical assault; 60% of straight respondents had directly witnessed at least one incident of anti-gay bigotry or prejudice.In terms of combating that bigotry, many gay people and our supporters use the argument that we should not be discriminated against because we are born gay. Almost 60% of lesbian and gay respondents believe sexual orientation is innate, and only 12% think it a social construction or choice, with the remaining "unsure". I had thought that, after decades of gay pride, we would be more willing to describe it as a positive choice as opposed to something imposed upon us by a rogue gene.A finding that will perhaps surprise straight people, in particular, is just how little lesbians and gay men think we have in common. A number of survey respondents added comments such as: "Why are we lumped in together when we have such different needs?" And: "Gay men and lesbians are at opposite ends of the pole, so why did we become a generic community?"So what needs to happen next? There is no doubt that cultural and social attitudes are miles behind legislation, and for this reason, we must somehow find a way to become a radical political movement again. As long as young people in schools are being bullied because they are perceived to be gay, and more than 80 countries around the world criminalise same-sex encounters, our work is not done. Whatever our differences are, we need to support each other to eradicate every last bit of prejudice, in the hope that, one day, we can perhaps do away with the labels lesbian and gay altogether.• Join Julie Bindel, Stella Duffy, Patrick Strudwick and Qazi Rahman in conversation with Kira Cochrane on Thursday 17 July as they discuss whether there is a gay gene, and whether we should we care if there is. To find out more and to book tickets for Born That Way, click here.(theguardian.com)Bakudaily.az